May the God who is both great and good
make your marriage stronger and your hearts braver.
May He create not only a willingness to die for your marriage
but also a passion to live for it.


Our experience is there are countless marriage ministries, books, and blogs that come from traditional, hierarchical, complementarian, and egalitarian marriage views. We’ve been married 44 years, and throughout our marriage we’ve focused on living out, teaching, and writing about God’s creational marriage design of mutuality, and functional equality—what we call co-leadership.

Living out co-leadership involves going back to marriage in the beginning. In Eden, the husband and wife celebrated equality intrinsically—both made in the image of God, and they enjoyed functional authority—both given the dominion and procreation mandates (Genesis 1:26-27). In God’s creational marriage design, before sin entered the story, there was no evidence of hierarchy, headship, or the husband designated the wife’s leader, authority, spiritual cover—or mediator, “For there is one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and humanity—the man Christ Jesus (1 Timothy 2:5 NLT). Additionally, when Jesus talked about marriage, he returned to God’s creational design (Matthew 19:4-5).

For many decades, as missionaries to marriage, our prayer has been for God to build a network of relationships united in heart about a mission—God and marriage—that matters. And together we become a faithful tribe that courageously explores all the life-giving and kingdom advancing potential in two becoming one—and being naked without shame (Genesis 2:24-25). And this becomes the pathway to marriage transformation, and leads to igniting a Marriage Reformation.

For anyone interested, we’ve written a number of marriage books that unpack co-leadership and many of the extraordinary benefits in God’s creational marraige design.

Click on the above REAL LIFE marriage books tab to see the books we’ve written—thanks.

REAL LIFE’s core values


Advancing in intimacy + spirit + soul + body oneness includes walking in unity.


The wisest first step to take in life—and marriage—is to invite God into your process (I.O.T.L.)


Becoming a better listener to God, a spouse, and others will provide wisdom, understanding, and protection.